Someone You'd Admire

Ranty side blog where I let my feelings go.

the thing is i don’t think that i can physically cry anymore, but i still feel the need to be upset and cry

I’m just tired of tip toeing around people that I hate

Oops. I guess it’s always good to make sure that you are checking what blog you are posting things on

to do

  • get back into shape
  • get hs spanish comprehension back
  • get my life under control
  • get him back

it makes me really happy to know that you took your time to like my dumb status from camp

i can’t believe i went through with it. i don’t know what to do now and I feel like I am drowning even more than I had before. I just want this all to stop

like 60% sure my boyfriend said someone else’s name during sex today.

Also I finally told wally west that i found him attractive. but i love my boyfriend and I have no idea what to do and i feel really bad for having told him and i just quit relationships and making anyone but myself happy. most days I am very happy with s, but there are somedays that I wish we hadn’t gotten into a relationship, or that I could be in a polyamorous relationship

because the truth is that i like a. i think he is cute and now i want to find out how big his penis is and how his arms would feel wrapped around me and if he gets bed head. if he would roll over and smile at me. and really tbh what a real walk of shame would feel like

One day I am going to punch you in the face. Really fucking hard. Please don’t be surprised when it happens.

oh yay. my period is late and now i am terrified

Super fun moment when my sister walks in wanting to talk about Christianity when I am taking a nap with my boyfriend

Sometimes I think I love you long term, but not forever. I do admit that some days I can imagine our children running around in the backyard with our dogs, but there are also times where instead it is him. That he and I are living in San Jose and we have both finally figured out what we want to do with our lives and are actually doing it. Maybe it’s twins or four kids or one with one on the way, but it isn’t always you. A lot of the time it’s my what if boy. Everything turned out the way it could have and the what if turns into what is.

And as much as it scares me, it is what I realize I want, because I like you a lot, but you weren’t buried in the sand by my cousins and you were not the who wrestled with a strawberry bush and lost. But you do hike and love dogs and laugh at all my dumb jokes, even when I know they aren’t funny. And that’s why I am going to keep you as long as I can.

yesterday i went to see the damage my friend had done in his hallway when he was drunk and I ran into the CA and he asked me why my neck was red and I told him it was because i had burned my neck on my curler and i wonder if he was lying about having a girlfriend

part of me wants to hook up with this kid from my history class

oh fuck did not wake up in time to do my spanish work