oh yay. my period is late and now i am terrified
Super fun moment when my sister walks in wanting to talk about Christianity when I am taking a nap with my boyfriend
Sometimes I think I love you long term, but not forever. I do admit that some days I can imagine our children running around in the backyard with our dogs, but there are also times where instead it is him. That he and I are living in San Jose and we have both finally figured out what we want to do with our lives and are actually doing it. Maybe it’s twins or four kids or one with one on the way, but it isn’t always you. A lot of the time it’s my what if boy. Everything turned out the way it could have and the what if turns into what is.
And as much as it scares me, it is what I realize I want, because I like you a lot, but you weren’t buried in the sand by my cousins and you were not the who wrestled with a strawberry bush and lost. But you do hike and love dogs and laugh at all my dumb jokes, even when I know they aren’t funny. And that’s why I am going to keep you as long as I can.
yesterday i went to see the damage my friend had done in his hallway when he was drunk and I ran into the CA and he asked me why my neck was red and I told him it was because i had burned my neck on my curler and i wonder if he was lying about having a girlfriend
part of me wants to hook up with this kid from my history class
oh fuck did not wake up in time to do my spanish work
part of me thinks I actually might be pregnant and that thought terrifies me to death
i love you but i hate you because now my fucking shirt smells like you and i miss you already and tomorrow I am probably going to make a jack ass of myself when I make a dumb joke about my hickeys being gone and wanting more
but i don’t care because i want to make out with your face and snuggle with you you dumb asshole
i want to hook up with boy again, but i don’t want hickeys when i go home
at least i know NOTHING he will give me could be as bad as the last batch he gave me
you are basically everything i hated about middle school
you are one of my best friends here, but you are a child and i want to punch you
in the face
ugh just come over and make out with me please
part of me is really excited that I have to stay to the last day of finals because there is a chance that boy will be staying too and that he will sleepover and we can cuddle and things
so he invited me over, but I know the chance of him getting me off is slim to none. and i really want to get off.
so i have a fifth of vodka and some very bad choices to make over this thanksgiving weekend. and a lot of journaling to catch up on.